Free(loading) Looker

With the summer grilling season upon us, we will review the warm weather, Free(loading) Looker.  Traditionally this Looker is only around in the warm months, the smell of the grill must let them know it is time to come out of hibernation.  Some wake a little earlier, during a big event with a give away attached or when there is a good prize with no purchase necessary.  In either case, they normally have no intention of buying anything or of talking to anyone more than necessary.  "Where's the soda?", is the only thing I heard the last one say. 


Quick, get out of the pouch!!  I smell a grill!!

Aside from the non speaking, especially when addressed directly, the Free(loading) Looker can be characterized by the large amounts of free food they can carry in one trip.  I have actually seen one with three hotdogs in each hand, a burger tucked under his chins, two sodas in each front pocket, and a ketchup bottle in his back pocket.  I wonder if someday these lookers will evolve into marsupials so they will have more room to carry free "gifts".




Turn off the cloaking device!  They
have hot dogs and burgers!

Set phazers to slightly char!  Get
ready to eat!

Another characteristic of the Free(loading) Looker is the way they are able to hide in plain sight.  Take for instance parking.  They typically park in an area that is easily accessible, both to the free "gifts" and for an easy get away.  This always seems to be out in the open, but they have a way about getting to the spot.  It's almost like they have a Klingon cloaking device, making their vehicles invisible until just before they attack, the "gifts" that is. 

"Thanks, but Just Looking!?!"

The final characteristic, and I think the most amazing, is their ability to know when "gifts" are available and when they are gone.  Rarely have I experienced a Free(loading) Looker that was at a place of business before the "gifts", and this typically had to do with free food, were ready.  And even more scarce were their sightings after the food was gone.  Bigfoot has been seen with more regularity.


In closing, if you happen to be at an event that is giving away free "gifts/food", keep a sharp eye out for the Free(loading) Looker.  They have been seen, but I don't think they have ever been photographed or recorded.  I will do my best to post one on here, feel free to help.  Until we have a clear picture of what they look like, I will have to keep "Just Looking!?!"